Tuesday, August 5, 2008

Dating a deaf person

This is fabulous... someone deaf has joined the dating game again after years of marriage to a hearing person. The story is quite interesting because when hearing males find out she's deaf, they run a mile and I'm always afraid that will happen to me. But she's written some great tips which I'll copy and paste here.

Here is the original link with the story

How to Date Deaf People: (written by Dawn)

*If you meet a deaf person and you want to talk, let the person know by waving “Hi” or write a note to give to her or him.

*When you want to say something; Have a pen and paper to communicate with them so he or she can understand.

*If you invite a deaf person out out on a date, please face your date, to make it easier to read lips, and use the pen and paper when you don’t understand. Also, listen to what he or she has to say.

*If you have cell phone with you, don’t answer it unless you warn your date first [Dr. Romance says this is true of any date, not just a deaf person.] Understand that a deaf person probably can’t tell what you’re saying when you’re talking into a cell phone, so it’s polite to let your date know why you’re answering the phone and what the call is about (for example, it’s work calling, or someone who is ill. Non-essential calls can wait.)

*If you take this date to a party, introduce your date and let them know that she or he is deaf. Sometimes, people knew some sign language — you never know.

*If the other person is talking and your date doesn’t understand, help him or her stay in the conversation by briefly explaining the gist of the conversation.

*It’s helpful and kind to ask your date how to say some words in sign language. Your date will be impressed that you are willing to learn to communicate with them in their own language.

*Phone calls are easy — text messaging always works. Even when you’re on a date, texting something on your phone and handing it to your date will work if you don’t think you’re understood.

*If you’re going to the movies, ask in advance if there are closed captions for the hearing impaired.

*Remember your date can’t read your lips in a darkened theater. This is a good place to use texting — you can just hand your date your phone.

*If you want to be able to talk, it’s better to take your date out to mini golf, a nice small cafe or the park.

*Understand that American Sign is a different language, with different grammar, so don’t be offended if your date is sometimes hard to understand. As with any different language, it takes a little patience. You’ll get used to it after a while.

*I encourage you to learn sign language. Classes are fun, and you’ll impress your friends.

*Your date will be happy to answer questions if you ask.


ccook said...

My daughter, Emma, is 7 years old and is deaf. She has bilateral CIs and seems to be the most popular kid in her mainstream school. You are a beautiful person inside and out. I cry everytime I see your activation video. I can't see any reason why no one would want to date you. Of course, I will be conducting "serious" interviews of any guy that comes to ask Emma out when she is of age. You hang in there!!! You are an inspiration to me, my daughter, and my family!

Take Care!

Chris Cook, Dallas, TX USA

Nikki said...

Thank you Chris, that was lovely! Thankfully now I have met a wonderful guy and my parents approve of him, lol ;)

a-ni-tsa-s-gi-li said...


just wanted to say thank you for your blog, it has helped me see some of the real issues of getting a CI that you don't ever see with all the 'infomercials'. I had been wearing hearing aids and although my right ear is ok for now, I have lost my left hearing (birth defects). I will be getting a CI in 3 months or so. I couldn't exactly tell, but did you hear much music at all in your hearing aid days before the CI? how is it now after having it a couple of years. I am a major music addict and I am just curious about how natural the sound will be eventually, as I know at first everything sounds like alvin and the chipmunks.

also thanks for expanding on the price issues on the batteries and cords. figures one way or the other you're paying for it (hearing aid batteries vs rechargeable CI batteries). better get a decent salary eventually hahah

Nikki said...

Hi a-ni-tsa-s-gi-li :)

I was very worried about music as well but once I got used to the CI (after everything didn't sound like Alvin and the Chipmunks) I enjoyed music so much more!! There are instruments that you are probably missing now that you'll be able to hear with the CI.

Good luck with your CI, I hope it works as well for you as it does for me :)

a-ni-tsa-s-gi-li said...

yeah I'm sure I am going to hear a whole lot more. it reminds me of the time when I first got digital hearing aids (previously had analog) and I was taking a test when I heard what sounded like gunshots but it was someone cracking their knuckles repeatedly. oy vey!

yeah I hope it works well for me too. I'm tired of hearing this low tinnitus noise in my ear (been 4 1/2 months now) and I'm told it will go away. It's driving me crazy but luckily it doesn't interfere with my sleeping habits.